Today I took Reed and Thrace to pick up our CSA veggies and fruit. We took the Metro and walked through the underground tunnels that constitute this area, which Reed loves to do and is usually pretty good for. It’s also a great, fun way to burn off energy and entertain him for a couple hours, since it’s basically just an underground mall. Reed walks and I wear Thrace in our Ergo, which is great except that it makes it difficult for me to keep up with Reed and stop him from doing things he shouldn’t. This isn’t NORMALLY a problem, as he’s pretty good at listening. NORMALLY. Still, it’s better than involving a stroller.
There’s an Au Bon Pain and a convenience store at one of the intersections before you get to the McDonalds. My plan was to buy us lunch at McDs (we eat pretty good, so I think once in a little while isn’t so bad), treat us to a cookie at Au Bon Pain, pick up our veggies and then hoof it back home.
But Reed ran into the convenience store, with me chasing him, telling him not to touch anything. He grabbed a Nutrigrain bar and ran out into the Au Bon Pain, laughing the entire way as I chased him.
(It makes it so much worse when they’re laughing as if it’s a game, doesn’t it. As though they’re really just here to toy with your emotions.)
Caught him, brought him back to the cashier, gave her the bar, which seemed fine to me when I handed it over. She called out to me and told me that it was destroyed and I’d need to pay for it. Fine. My kid, who I should have had a better hand on, destroyed something and I OF COURSE I’d pay for it.
But he’s still flipping out and screaming because I’m not buying it for him. She tells me it’s a buck. I hand over my debit card, and she tells me that it’s 1.25 if I pay by card. Which is ridiculous, and at which point I really would have expected her to say, “nevermind,” but whatever it’s a business they need to make money and it was MY fault, I know that. I’ll eat another quarter for a bar that I would normally never touch.
Reed is now COMPLETELY FLIPPING OUT and on the floor. I toss the bar onto the counter and say “I don’t actually want this, can you just toss it?” but, as I’m turning around to calm Reed down, I see it falls on the floor, I just overshot.
As I bend down to pick him up the thing WHIZZES by my ear and the woman SCREAMS something unintelligible at me. I yell back at her that I handed intended to throw it at her, it was a mistake, and run out the door pulling Ben. I then remember I need the receipt because I don’t trust her to charge me the right amount at this point, and go back to ask her for it. AND SHE’S PUTTING THE DAMN BAR BACK ON THE SHELF!!!
I left, dragging Reed by his shoulder, which I hate to do, but he wasn’t moving and I was so furious that I was crying and shaking and completely flipping out. When she threw the bar she knocked a pair of sunglasses off the stand near me, which just seems like it must have been really, really fast and hard. I pulled him past the Au Bon Pain and bent down next to him to explain that we didn’t have enough money to get a cookie any more (a total lie, of course, but how else do I explain without it just being “mommy’s mad”? Natural consequences just seem better in the long run) and told him I was mad that he stole the bar but still loved him and gave him a big hug.
We went and got McD’s, which was still a treat, and seemed reasonable since I’d already basically punished him by saying we couldn’t have a cookie I’d already promised. A woman came up to me and told me she’d seen the end of the flip out and thought I was doing an excellent job and I just lost it and started crying. I feel like an awful mom when I yell at all. And grabbing his arms like that totally freaks me out, because I do it in rage, even if it’s not rage at him. And I do it to scare him into complying with me. I work REALLY hard at not doing these things. But that woman TERRIFIED me in a way I couldn’t explain.
She HUCKED the bar at us. US!!! A woman CARRYING a baby and a three-year old. How is that appropriate? Even if I HAD thrown it at her, which I really don’t think I did, but maybe in trying to calm Reed down I did. EVEN if I did: a three-year old and a BABY!
We got lunch, played in the green area near our CSA pick-up, got our fruit and veg, and made it back home on the Metro in one piece. But I’m still feeling on edge over that woman and how I lost my mind.
So how was YOUR day?
