Comments on: Get out of the sandbox. http://www.bohdel.com/blog/2010/05/26/get-out-of-the-sandbox/ Seeking the slow life in the metro area. Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:53:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Bohdel http://www.bohdel.com/blog/2010/05/26/get-out-of-the-sandbox/comment-page-1/#comment-65775 Bohdel Tue, 01 Jun 2010 04:19:06 +0000 http://www.bohdel.com/blog/?p=859#comment-65775 Yeah, I've thought of that over and over wishing I'd said something. I really wish I'd said something straight out to her though, like "hey, we both said it would be okay when your son was done and he waited." I mean, Ben deserves to have me stick up for him. But I worry about being too confrontational. And I've worked a long time on not being passive aggressive, which comes easy to me. <br><br>But he really was SUCH a good little boy waiting and doing exactly what he was asked. I don't think decking her would have been out of line. :) Yeah, I've thought of that over and over wishing I'd said something. I really wish I'd said something straight out to her though, like “hey, we both said it would be okay when your son was done and he waited.” I mean, Ben deserves to have me stick up for him. But I worry about being too confrontational. And I've worked a long time on not being passive aggressive, which comes easy to me.

But he really was SUCH a good little boy waiting and doing exactly what he was asked. I don't think decking her would have been out of line. :)

]]> By: alison http://www.bohdel.com/blog/2010/05/26/get-out-of-the-sandbox/comment-page-1/#comment-65774 alison Sun, 30 May 2010 19:12:36 +0000 http://www.bohdel.com/blog/?p=859#comment-65774 With the airplane, I prolly woulda done something really passive-aggressive. Like, pick up Ben and say <br>"That was very rude, how she just took that plane without asking you. Sometimes people are rude EVEN WHEN they're adults" With the airplane, I prolly woulda done something really passive-aggressive. Like, pick up Ben and say
“That was very rude, how she just took that plane without asking you. Sometimes people are rude EVEN WHEN they're adults”

]]> By: Bohdel http://www.bohdel.com/blog/2010/05/26/get-out-of-the-sandbox/comment-page-1/#comment-65773 Bohdel Sat, 29 May 2010 15:34:04 +0000 http://www.bohdel.com/blog/?p=859#comment-65773 At some point I'll find something you disagree with me on. :) <br><br>We never take more than 3 toys with us to the park and write our name on all but the wooden trucks (which, since no one else has, are easy to spot. We try to give a 2 minute warning to the kids playing with our toys before we leave. We also walk, so it really would just be impossible to take more than that. <br><br>A kid younger than 18 months is the only time I'll step in from Ben taking a toy (well, that and a parent giving me "the look"). I just think it's unfair to expect a kid that age to stick up for himself or not feel overwhelmed. At some point I'll find something you disagree with me on. :)

We never take more than 3 toys with us to the park and write our name on all but the wooden trucks (which, since no one else has, are easy to spot. We try to give a 2 minute warning to the kids playing with our toys before we leave. We also walk, so it really would just be impossible to take more than that.

A kid younger than 18 months is the only time I'll step in from Ben taking a toy (well, that and a parent giving me “the look”). I just think it's unfair to expect a kid that age to stick up for himself or not feel overwhelmed.

]]> By: Colin http://www.bohdel.com/blog/2010/05/26/get-out-of-the-sandbox/comment-page-1/#comment-65772 Colin Sat, 29 May 2010 00:05:41 +0000 http://www.bohdel.com/blog/?p=859#comment-65772 The thought of having to deal with these situations strikes fear into my heart.<br><br>So far it's been a non-issue for us. Our Ben is very cowed by kids he doesn't know. At the playground he'll just sit and watch the other kids. If he's playing by himself on a slide or something, and another kid runs up, he'll just stop everything he's doing to watch the other kid. (Of course he's also not 18 months yet).<br><br>What does happen a lot though, is that other kids play with his toys. We'll bring a little kit of sand toys with us, and Ben will poke at the sand with the rake, something like that. And older kids will come up and really play with the sand toys how they're meant to be used, which is fine.<br><br>Last weekend got a little nervous though - after the two and three year olds settled in to play, some even bigger kids, maybe as old 6 came, and they were a little grabby. But I didn't want to get involved. I'm not going to tell some stranger's kid how to behave, it seems pretty pointless. And Ben didn't cry when his shovel got taken away, so I figured it was okay.<br><br>I just resolved to bring fewer toys from the car next time, so there's less temptation, and less to create a locus of playing around us.<br><br>We haven't had a problem with other parents yet. I feel really having racial (or at least national-origin-based) thoughts about this, but it seems to me like the parks we go to, most of the families are Russian, Chinese, or Mexican, and they all ssem to let the kids play without interference, which I *really* like. The only kids with hovery parents are those who are Ben's age - and it's been all smiles, and trying to help the kids let the other kid go first up the stairs to the slide.<br><br>There's one sand box that seems to have a lot of community toys in it, and that's the one where we had that big group of kids all playing with Ben's sand toys. I guess we figured that since there are so many community toys in that box, we should treat ours as if they were community toys while we're there. (But again, I resolved to bring fewer of them next time). The thought of having to deal with these situations strikes fear into my heart.

So far it's been a non-issue for us. Our Ben is very cowed by kids he doesn't know. At the playground he'll just sit and watch the other kids. If he's playing by himself on a slide or something, and another kid runs up, he'll just stop everything he's doing to watch the other kid. (Of course he's also not 18 months yet).

What does happen a lot though, is that other kids play with his toys. We'll bring a little kit of sand toys with us, and Ben will poke at the sand with the rake, something like that. And older kids will come up and really play with the sand toys how they're meant to be used, which is fine.

Last weekend got a little nervous though – after the two and three year olds settled in to play, some even bigger kids, maybe as old 6 came, and they were a little grabby. But I didn't want to get involved. I'm not going to tell some stranger's kid how to behave, it seems pretty pointless. And Ben didn't cry when his shovel got taken away, so I figured it was okay.

I just resolved to bring fewer toys from the car next time, so there's less temptation, and less to create a locus of playing around us.

We haven't had a problem with other parents yet. I feel really having racial (or at least national-origin-based) thoughts about this, but it seems to me like the parks we go to, most of the families are Russian, Chinese, or Mexican, and they all ssem to let the kids play without interference, which I *really* like. The only kids with hovery parents are those who are Ben's age – and it's been all smiles, and trying to help the kids let the other kid go first up the stairs to the slide.

There's one sand box that seems to have a lot of community toys in it, and that's the one where we had that big group of kids all playing with Ben's sand toys. I guess we figured that since there are so many community toys in that box, we should treat ours as if they were community toys while we're there. (But again, I resolved to bring fewer of them next time).

]]>