I would like to point out that my family deals with their pain in laughter. It’s just the way we’ve always been. For example, at the funeral mass the priest had a habit (and he was a BIG man) of closing his eyes and relaxing while the woman sang litanies. He looked like he was sleeping. When he suddenly opened his eyes this one time, looking around like “where the hell AM I?” it was all I could do not to crack up, and I could hear my brother down the pew snickering. I brought it up later and my sisters and mom started laughing, too; they both knew exactly the moment I was talking about.
Well, Saturday night, after the funeral was over and all the people had left, my siblings (except Beth who wasn’t around most of the weekend) and our respective SOs sat around and came up with the Top 10 occasions where you do not want people taking picture
10. Your first break up.
9. Your first vibrator.
8. Your first “day after” the Big Party/hangover.
7. Your first arrest.
6. Your first OB/GYN visit.
5. Bris.
4. Your first amputation.
3. Delivering the afterbirth.
2. Walking in on your parents.
1. A funeral.
Of course, we made this up because there WERE people there taking pictures. I mean, WtF? Okay, I’m not going to start talking in high school lingo.
There is one thing I would like to point out to all of you who may need to one day comfort someone: Do not go over to their home, go through the deceased belongings (esp. when you have no relation except through the one you are trying to comfort), spend time printing something on their computer, cry and tell them it is because You don’t know how to cope. It isn’t MY fault. If you don’t know how to cope with my father’s death find someone else to talk to about it. It’s MY father’s death and I’m trying to deal with the pain on my own. I don’t want to be saddled with yours too.
Um, yeah. Things are getting easier. I don’t know what I’m doing here though. My mom wants my help, but doesn’t want me to touch anything. :)
Thanks for your kind thoughts.
3 responses so far ↓
1 Chris // Mar 4, 2004 at 8:21 am
Dealing with things through laughter is better than sadness…although I know the sadness is there. You’re in my thoughts!
2 Brian // Jul 25, 2004 at 5:51 am
I am curious about one of your comments where you would not want a picture taken -
Your first amputation? Would that be a leg and would it be OK to take a photo at the second amputation? How many amputations do you think you would be happy with?
You know, when you make statements like that there has to be a reason (at least I think that what’s Freud would say)
3 Del // Jul 25, 2004 at 5:40 pm
Actually, it was my brother’s idea…and i think his thought was that you wouldn’t WANT an amputation in the first place, so it wouldn’t be a thing you’d really want someone to take a picture at, but even beyond that, much like a wake, it really isn’t something you’d want to be reminded of, nor something you’d want people to demean in any way by treating it like a picture-taking event. Y’know, when you think of people taking pictures of your first job (which my mom did for each of us), or a first date, first prom, first apartment. It was really more, one of those “firsts” which you wouldn’t want to be reminded of… Y’know?
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