Bohemian Delilah

I dreamt last night that I was being skillfully skinned as an apple. Beginning at my feet a single strip was removed and discarded. There was no pain, no blood. It wasn’t my skin that was removed but a skin like that on the top of pudding, some crust that is not necessary, not desirable. And with this rather disgusting layer came away my fear of being a good daughter, of being a good sister, friend, and girlfriend, my hatred of myself for my ineptitude at work, my failure at getting that crappy woman to pay me or even return my phone calls. I felt clean and lighter.

I like my job. I have a good boss, I have good coworkers, but I’m not very good at it, and I piss people off, or else people are just pissy. There’s one client who HATES me, and actually told me off on Saturday. I don’t care, she truly is a moron who more often than not comes in drunk, with an awful Australian accent. She’s pathetic with her little puppy and we worry that she doesn’t know how big he will be as a full grown dog (over 200 lbs., at least). But it doesn’t change the fact that it isn’t a thing someone should need to put up with at work, and it’s been on a greater than weekly basis now. I keep hoping I’ll get better, and don’t want to give up, but I know it isn’t the job for me, I’m a problemsolver, and that isn’t what I get here. Still, I hate giving up.

(My kitten has just run up the stairs with his favorite toy, a blue shoe lace. he runs around the toilet and chair legs with one end in his mouth, chasing the other, today he’s leading the other cat along with it, it’s frustratingly cute.)

I work with good people and I’ve met good people, like Samantha, whom I’m currently cat sitting for (she has one of the SOFTest cats I’ve ever felt and he’s just a tabby) and a guy, Tom, I would love to see outside of work, him and his wife, I’m sure she’s cool (why is it so hard to make friends nowadays?), but, to tell the truth, I never took this job to meet people. I just want to get through the day without people telling me they hope I never decide to be a brain surgeon…

I’m going home for a few days. Looking forward to seeing my family, and Tom’s, and New York…